Know your columnist: Jeanine Fritz stars in 'I'm Not There' - Colorado Daily
She's been writing it for nearly 100 years and her banter on Tinder, hardships, love, cats, spiders and the good life will make you want to put her in your pocket and carry her with you everywhere. If you were a wrestler what would your stage name be. . Just "Fritz," probably. I'd rig the ring with computers and other electronics and appliances that don't work correctly, and when my opponent became engrossed in rage and frustration after calling the shitty helpline number I'd left out there, I'd leap from atop a fridge... I'm a thinking man's wrestler. If you could party at Taco Bell's new bar in Chicago with any famous person, who would it be. . I'm presuming I have to eat there, too, and since I have what's colloquially known as "gut rot," my first pick would be Paul Janssen, one of the... But Janssen's long dead, so my next choice would be David Sedaris. But he doesn't drink anymore, and I don't really want to hang out in a Taco Bell bar in Chicago, so I'm gonna change the venue to Crystal River, Fla. Oh, that'd have to be riding bikes with the other neighborhood kids in Hollister, Calif. We were all between the ages of 8 and 10, and would get on our bikes and ride like bats out of hell down to the end of our street where new construction on houses had halted. Weeds had sprung up in all the dug-out foundations, and we created trails and ramps and jumps out of the soil, and pretended to be on tiny dirt bikes. Source: www.coloradodaily.com
